The weather is starting to get a little cooler – thank goodness for those of us in Sydney – and as I write, the day is overcast and I have a really pleasant breeze flowing through my house. I have to admit, Autumn and Spring are my favourite seasons and, just like my mother, I love to be able to open all the windows and doors and air out the house without the stifling heat of Summer or the bitter cold winds in Winter.
I don’t know about you, but, each year I promise myself to do some things in my life differently. It might be get fitter, lose weight, eat healthier, keep my house tidier, start that course I’ve been meaning to do. How about you? How do you feel about goals? Do you write your goals down? I confess, I have a lot of stuff going on in my head and not much written down on paper.
I recently had the pleasure of seeing Danielle LaPorte speak in Sydney. I’ve also been listening to her book, yes listening – to an audiobook version, The Firestarter Sessions. Danielle suggests that we focus on how we want to feel when setting goals.
For example, if your goal is to lose weight you might want to feel stronger, fitter, sexier etc, rather than saying you want to lose 5kgs or 20kgs.
In her book The Desire Map Danielle asks questions like
“How do you want to feel…
* when you get dressed in the morning
* when you walk through the door of your office”
and other scenarios in our lives.
She says “what if, first, we got clear on how we actually wanted to feel in our life, and then we laid out our intentions? What if your most desired feelings consciously informed how you plan your day, your year, your career, your holidays – your life?”
Another important aspect for me about goal
setting is getting my values in order. When most people think of values they go to integrity, honesty, trust, and the like. When referring to goals I see values as what’s important to you in your life. For example family, financial security, relationships, travel, job security, health etc. When I’m working on goals with clients we prioritise their values so they can get an idea of what really is important to them.
For example, a client may say that having a relationship is important to them but they are working 12 hour days and have no time to actually meet someone. That would tell me that other values are more important than having a relationship, values like job security, financial security, achievement etc. Or if a client says that health is important to them, but they are spending their weekends drinking and partying with friends, I would suggest that friendship, belonging, or fun might be a higher value in their life than health. Once you prioritise your values, you can begin to realise what is getting in the way of achieving your goals and start to make real change.
A new way of looking at goals and achieving them, huh? If you or someone you know would like help identifying how you want to feel about your life in 2017 and how to prioritise your values, I can certainly assist with a coaching session.